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Be realistic

44. Be Realistic 


We all have dreams and desires. Some of these dreams are bigger and bolder than others while some of our desires are merely things that we want in order to satisfy a lifestyle. We know that there is a huge difference between a need and a want; a need is something you have to acquire usually on a constant basis for survival, for example food, clothing, and a roof over your head. A want, on the other hand, is something is nice to have like a new car, a new iphone, or beautiful furniture but is essentially something that is not necessary for survival. 

The aspect of needs is also parallel to the realistic achievement of goals. In order to get what you want you have to be able to get what you need. If this sounds strange or a reversal of the normal explanation, bear with me as I explain more. 

To some people, the realization of a goal is a psychological need necessary to become whole - that is, without achieving the desired goal, they are incomplete just as if they had food to prepare to eat but no way to cook it. One is a necessary completion of the other. 

"Failures are made only by those who fail to dare, not by those who dare to fail." ~ Lester B. Pearson

Now, on the other hand, there are goals that one would like to accomplish but some of these goals cannot be attained without first making it to a sub-level, This means that one must be realistic about achieving goals. But, this does not mean you shouldn't set a very high goal. 

It means that certain steps must be attained first before you can set out to the next step on the ladder to the final accomplishment. For example, I know a young woman who really needed to feel that she was helping others and her goal was to become a doctor. However, as she started university, she realized that she could not bear to accumulate the debt that completing her medical degree would cost. I spoke with her father just a couple of days ago, and she told him she was considering revising her goal to become a doctor but not revising her goal to help people in a professional way. So, her desire to be a doctor was reinterpreted to help others by becoming a speech therapist. 

What did she accomplish? For one thing, her goal destination was altered but her need wasn't. Secondly, she was being realistic. She knew she really couldn't afford the accumulated debt on her pathway to becoming a doctor, but she could afford to become a speech therapist. 

Not all goals can be accomplished but that doesn't mean you should not set out to accomplish what you need, and know this, that there is a difference between a 'need' goal and a 'want' goal. 

In the process of attaining a goal, there is something that you should also bear in mind. And, that is not to be totally consumed by your goal achievement to the point where all other aspects of life take a back seat. This means that your life is not meant to be solely dedicated to reaching your goal without enjoying the trip or taking side trips. 

The aspect of taking side trips means that you do not dedicate all of your available time just to work on your goal. It means that, instead, you take the time to enjoy aspects of life that are goal-oriented. 

For example, give yourself permission to take a break once a week to do something totally different like going out with your friends, or taking a long brisk walk through the park, or going to the country for a cross-country ski day, or a picnic for the afternoon with your partner or children. 

You cannot dedicate every waking moment to accomplishing a dream because to do so means that you will never recharge your batteries, and will compound your stress levels for lack of relaxing moments.

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